Six reasons why marriage counseling fails (or at least appears to fail- part one)

Professor grading paper with Epic Fail written in a composition book isolated on white

Why marriage counseling fails? Not many years ago, I was under the assumption that a good marriage counselor had the power to completely change the course of my relationship.

I was also under the assumption (as some are) that everything would turn around quickly (in one or two sessions) and my partner and I would be all better- never to have serious problems again. But I mostly stood corrected. While couples counseling can certainly help, sustaining a relationship is very complex. And what happens outside of session is the most important part.

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Love languages

Are you loving your partner in their love language?

Love languages

I remember the first Valentine’s Day I shared with my husband. We had only been married for a short time, and we were still truly getting to know each other.

I gave him a handwritten gift certificate with a one year expiration date for a weekend trip to Santa Fe. I remember feeling so proud about having come up with this creative idea and the prospect of going out of town together for a romantic mini vacation.

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Marriage Counseling in Greenwood Village

PACT: A new paradigm for couple therapy

PACT couple therapy and counseling centennial

In four days, I will celebrate 17 years of marriage. To some couples, this might not seem like much in the larger scheme of things, but to me, 17 is very significant.

Don’t get me wrong. My intentions have always been the best. However, in doing what I “thought” I was doing right or doing what I thought I “ought” to do with the best of intentions was actually picking at the fabric of my marriage- one thread at a time.

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The most essential of ownership manuals

Couples Counseling and Therapy in Centennial

Some couples only need minor “tweaking” to enrich and enhance their already strong relationships. However, many couples encounter deeper seated problems which have fostered resentment and have eroded their connection over time.

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Ambivalence as a barometer

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Many movies, books, poems and songs portray stories about romantic love. Tales depicting the emotion and angst in the wake of falling in love, feeling dissatisfied, being broken hearted, splitting up and reuniting are very common.

Perhaps the reason people keep watching, reading and listening to these tales is because we are trying to make sense of the profound emotional effect relationships have upon us and the conflicting and mixed feelings they often bring.

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Overlooking your intimate attachment? Three ways to reprioritize your special someone

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I remember when my husband and I were in the thick of raising small children, attending graduate school at the same time, changing or developing careers simultaneously and moving to our forever home.

Life was stressful. There was not much time or money for fun. We were frazzled. Putting most of our energy into child raising and keeping our heads above water, our intimate relationship took a back seat.

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