Archive for category: Marriage and Couples Counseling

We all know about the benefits of getting out of our comfort zones, feeling our uncomfortable feelings, and bravely initiating those difficult conversations. Given our bias toward the negative and our awareness that growth sometimes means getting uncomfortable, it’s easy to neglect the things that support us.

Resourcing and resource development are terms often used in trauma treatment. A resource is anything that supports you in adjusting and responding to life while maintaining your sense of self. Resources can be internal or external. Trauma is what happens when we don’t have enough resources to process and integrate what is happening. The more resources we have developed, the more capacity we have to respond and adjust to our internal and external worlds. Slowing down to recognize and develop resources can make it much easier, and hopefully even fun sometimes, to face the challenging parts of yourself and your relationships.  

In a study conducted by John Gottman in 1981, it was discovered that couples who report higher marital satisfaction are linked with husband’s ability to read his wife’s verbal cues. Open verbal communication is important, but a substantial portion of what makes couples thrive comes from reading between the lines and being able to understand differences in how each partner desires connection.

We all crave closeness and intimacy in our romantic relationships, but on a primal level, sometimes we want to see this this expressed differently than our partner does. Being at odds with how to go about “togetherness” and “separateness” can often create friction between lovebirds. And when left unaddressed this difference may lead to mounting frustration, and in some people, the desire to retreat. Read more

A study found that pets can provide a tremendous sense of belonging, social support and improvement to one’s quality of life.

As an owner of two dogs. I know firsthand how wonderfully lovable and endearing animals can be. They can lighten our mood. They can even bring people closer together. Read more

A few months ago, I read that neck and upper back problems are likely going to become more pervasive in the future due to technology. I fully own that I read this while on my phone.

According to the article, our necks will more likely prematurely wrinkle from having our head tilted down looking at our devices. Moreover, tilting our head downwards looking at technology will also more likely result in neck and upper back strain leading to muscular and skeletal problems. Read more

There is a reason the saying, “three’s a crowd” exists. People are dyadic (meaning two) in nature. For this reason, people tend to pair up in friendships and love. And when there are three people in any long-term group, the dynamic can become unclear and competitive.

As everyone wants to feel a sense of belonging, members in groups of three sometimes go to great lengths to vie for their position. Often, one or more people feel excluded at various times in groups of three. Read more