Eight seemingly benign things that can destroy your relationship, and what you can do about it; part six- extended family

According to a New York Post article extended family, namely the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship often creates real trouble in paradise for many couples.

Influential family ties can pose a real threat to the couple bubble. When we hold long lived ties with our family of origin, successfully creating space for  intimate relationships, in which we also aspire to be long-lived can be challenging. However, if want our love relationships to flourish, we have to up for the challenge. Read more

Eight seemingly benign things can destroy your relationship, and what you can do about it; part five- technology

A few months ago, I read that neck and upper back problems are likely going to become more pervasive in the future due to technology. I fully own that I read this while on my phone.

According to the article, our necks will more likely prematurely wrinkle from having our head tilted down looking at our devices. Moreover, tilting our head downwards looking at technology will also more likely result in neck and upper back strain leading to muscular and skeletal problems. Read more

Eight seemingly benign things that can destroy your relationship, and what you can do about it; part four- money

Discussions around money arise with virtually every couple. Topics about money can range from differing spending habits, money defining social status or being a reflection of ego, or of partners each having strong willed ideas about how money earned should be allocated.

Money is a big deal. We need it to survive. And for this reason, it can be very preoccupying.

For many people, money constitutes a belief system. It provides a conduit to bringing about joyful experiences such as travel, purchasing a home, or investing in causes in which we believe. We can express love in the gifts money allows us to give others. Money provides security, which is the very thing most people seek. Read more

Eight seemingly benign things that can destroy your relationship and what you can do about it; part three- friends

There is a reason the saying, “three’s a crowd” exists. People are dyadic (meaning two) in nature. For this reason, people tend to pair up in friendships and love. And when there are three people in any long-term group, the dynamic can become unclear and competitive.

As everyone wants to feel a sense of belonging, members in groups of three sometimes go to great lengths to vie for their position. Often, one or more people feel excluded at various times in groups of three. Read more

Eight seemingly benign things that can destroy your relationship and what you can do about it; part two- work

I ask many of the couples I work with what they do for fun. While some can answer, others cannot come up with one single “for fun” activity.

Other couples answer the question with individual activities that each partner enjoys without the other partner present. And yet other couples report that since they have had children, they don’t do anything for fun together except activities that directly involve the children. Read more

Eight seemingly benign things that can destroy your relationship and what you can do about it; part one- children

Stan Tatkin, a well-known author, lecturer and couple therapist says the number one thing that breaks relationships up is “mismanagement of thirds” (see thirds).What are thirds?

Thirds consist of any entity outside of the intimate relationship of two people. Some of the more obvious thirds include: Read more

Four reasons why you should begin couples counseling with an initial intensive session

Most couples at the very least have experienced a degree of distress before contacting a couple’s counselor. Some couples may be desperate for things to change. Some may feel like counseling is their last possible hope to salvage the relationship.

As an hour of couple’s counseling goes very quickly, an initial hour long session may feel like a mere scratching of the surface. There may not be sufficient time to really process what is happening in the relationship before it is time to leave the session and go back out into the real world. Read more

Three ways to find safety in an uncertain world

2016 was to say the very least an “intense” year.

We proved to be a country that remains strongly divided. Several emotionally difficult events happened internationally and domestically. We lost too many beloved cultural icons to count. Read more

Three surefire ways to successfully navigate the holidaze with your partner

For many, December can be the most stressful month of the year. Many people are out and about shopping, preparing for house guests or to travel.

The roads are more congested. People tend to get viruses and other yucky bugs. Lines are longer from the grocery store to the movie theater. It is a ruckus!

Here are three surefire ways to successfully navigate the holidaze with your partner.

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